I have been noticing a trend in my conversations with people recently. Life is losing its luster as we get older. The excitement of a day at the beach, a 3 day concert or the warm snuggles in bed with children are over. We are increasingly faced with work expectations, failing health of people we love, relationship or financial concerns and of course those big kids=big problems. I have been watching how this affects my friends as well as myself.
I needed to jot down my thoughts. More like a journal entry. Trying to make my center strong during stressful week.
Communication: We all are communicating so much more. This is good and bad. I love to skype relatives far away. It is such a wonderful way to keep in touch. But I find that we are sharing and sometimes over sharing. How do you find that balance? I am trying to lessen the calls and texts to my adult children. If we are in constant communication, their problems become ours. We have all been there. Sometimes we need to be there and sometimes we don't. We should take the same approach with our friends and extended family. I am only trying to share when I need to. They don't need to hear everything going on in my life. Why burden them with the fact that I have a crazy dog who jumped out the car window yesterday? Whoops, I just shared...
Let go of Expectations: I have been working on this for a while. Yes we need to have expectations for our children when they are growing up but when does it stop? The same should go for our extended family and our close friends. We can't change people. We can only change how we react to them. I know we would feel better if we did not have expectations of people or projects or situations. It just seem to cause stress.
Dang, do I hear very lucky people complaining about good things often. People are stressed about graduations, promotions, anniversaries, parties, trips etc... Aren't these the "good stuff"? Shouldn't we be grateful? I think we just get in the habit of stressing out. I think people can get addicted to stress.I understand the planning of things can become stressful. We should try to enjoy this and be grateful. Even when bad situations occur, it can always be worse. I am thankful my nutty dog did not kill herself when she jumped out of the window. Next time, I won't put it down so far or perhaps buy her a doggie buckle. Oprah was right about the gratitude journal. I must find mine.
Be compassionate: I think about my parents when I think of compassionate people. They were always there to help... just enough. Enough to get you on your feet but not to smother.This can translate to most situations, family members, coworkers, neighbors etc... It is a fine line however. Your compassion can penetrate you and lead to worry or you can be one of those people who can wear a shield but can still feel. I want to be that person.
Let go of Control: I have watched this manifest itself a lot recently. Oh, this is so easier said than done. I blame it all on Martha Stewart, texting and helicopter parents. Enough Said.
In essence, I must try to remember "Kind thoughts, kind words = kind heart".
Hope you find luster to your day!
In case you can't, here is cool textile by Yumi Ikita.
See finds the luster.